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ode to penny

by Parker McCord

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1.
this is the fastest slow dance in the world isn't it? isn't it? the way the disco looks in your eyes I think I'm hypnotized cherry but the cigarette kind tonight your eyes define our night ill go where you are and if you wanna dance ill be right there we'll make the plans its not too far of a drive truth [or consequences] to Santa Fe we are and we'll drive in my car til the road just stops and pull over and keep air on hot and spray until we don't- [hehe] I know its a dream but its where ill always want to be black and white sheets and elvis is playing as we walk down your street you and me <3
2.
your eyes are filled with dirt covered up by what you think of me you say im good enough but im not who you wanna see hurting like a thorn in my skin so bare and soft and pale and thin and dripping blood the minute its pulled out I crawl my way into your head and wish that I could stay there but you won't let me for longer than an hour its moving like a deficit it stole all of our innocence im dripping tears the minute you've gone home I climb into my bed and think of all the things inside my head and how I hate them and wish that they would die I can't hear songs or read some books and im sorry for my late response but I feel like this all of the time and its been 10 months and I can't have fun [get over it] or do the things I've always loved but don't cry cause I've been dead since we were done I wake up in the daytime and fall asleep again because I can't handle being awake for too long [im tattered and broken misused and mispoken im falling to pieces to make you just notice -defence mechanism is love that you didnt hand over when I did for you all the time]
3.
Leaving 04:42
I wanna smell your room again relive all my memories through it bugs are crawling over my hand and im falling but I don't know where to land breeze through the windows your papers are flying they're damned if they take off you rush into catch them but they're already gone and you know the nights gonna be long can you see the difference? this one isn't as so lenient and we dance in the streets when the sunsets like we're okay can we walk when it gets dark? I wanna see all the stars and we kiss like we're dying and maybe we are but its okay :) when do you think that I'll be back? im leaving for the north we can do many things til then and I know I can name some more yeah turn on the tv I know what we're watching blood and guts galore you know its my favorite, I know that you hate it but you've never seen me more happy can you feel the distance? im already miles away standing right next to you and there's nothing you could say can we walk when it gets dark I wanna see all the stars and we kiss like we're dying and maybe we are but it's okay :')
4.
my eyes, covered in tides heart is all tied now kiss wandering lips snow falling like raindrops love for you would never stop like I know where youve been who you're with why im asking I know you're sitting on your phone taking pictures they shouldn't know is the wind coming in faster than you can close the doors? is the rain still the same faster than you can dry the floors let it flood I won't let you drown grab onto me I won't let you drown the stars we met at the bar the moon shining down on us tears, following mirrors keeping up the built trust I know I wouldn't care what you do who you're with if you love me I know youre sitting on your couch im what you're thinking about can we kiss? is this it? what else can I do for you? intuit, movies hit faster than you can dry the floors I won't let you drown [I would never] grab onto me I won't let you drown grab onto me
5.
Ashamed 03:45
you're swimming in deep water you wanna see my body rot is it enough? is it enough? to make you wonder but not to touch is it enough, it enough to keep you off my mind like I'm on yours too much? I felt a way when you kissed me like something was missing you weren't mine completely mine completely I should've known, I should've never gone now im alone and wrong desired and despised in the same night boy you put up such a good fight now im crying on the phone its a night that's lasted way too long and I keep hearing you say my name and I hide the way I feel ashamed im consciously milking it out [dissapointed] I don't know where to sound can we stay in touch? can we stay in touch? I see all of my patches and all of them rough I feel your touch, your touch and I know im imagining too much a way when you kissed me like something was missing you weren't mine completely you're never mine completely [duh] I should've known, I should've never gone now im alone and wrong desired and despised in the same night boy you put up such a good fight now im crying on the phone its a night that's lasted way too long and I keep hearing you say my name and I hide the way I feel ashamed [accept it]
6.
Sideline 03:49
realize the wrong in our situation im on the fences and starting to hate it the voice in my head says I wanna let you back in [bruh don't] im on the right, looking from the inside thinking from the sideline but you're the centerpiece catch your cold eye when im gone you're alone and you wonder why but what a day when we'd play am I coming off too strong? in your place youre my headache why'd I wait so long? to get you off my phone I know you're lying, I know you care and I feel everything even if its not fair I say im done but I always run back to you you come and go, just take it slow want you to want me, want you to know I say im done but I always run back to you can't see the signs, can't feel our fire I feel like im suffocating but I want your high im on the ride, tumble from the skyline love me all the damn time cause im your centerpiece catch your cold eye in our heads in my bed in the moonlight but why'd I stop? you're all I want am I thinking way too much? its a thought its a gunshot, I wanna feel your touch am I asking too much? I know you're lying, I know you care and I feel everything even if its not fair I say im done but I always run back to you you come and go, just take it slow want you to want me, want you to know I say im done but I always run back to you and I know that I want you, but is this enough? and I know that I want you but I like to play rought I gotta have you to keep me in check boy im tough [cancers amirite] I know you're lying, I know you care and I feel everything even if its not fair I say im done but I always run back to you you come and go, just take it slow want you to want me, want you to know I say im done but I always run back to you [better not do it again]

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released May 29, 2020

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Parker McCord Nashville, Tennessee

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